Jersey Net

Details

Lean, meticulous left-center defender with a strict side combover and oversized square glasses. Pale and wiry, Jersey annotates opponents' tendencies on a pocket ledger between every throw-in. Emotional: anxious but fiercely loyal to teammates. Special move: 'Spreadsheet Slide' — a slide-tackle that leaves a printed-off formation on the ground. Quirks: carries color-coded pens in his sock, taps the goalpost twice to 'close the ledger'. Dreams of exposing the Seal Hunting Club's missing invoices.

Attributes

Match Statistics