Shin Sheetson

Details

Pale, spectacled veteran with a precise combover and a tiny frog tattoo behind his left ear. Spends half his pre-match warm-up lining up imaginary spreadsheets on the grass, muttering column sums. Emotionally teetering on paperwork breakdowns, Shin saves with a methodical 'Reconcile Reach' — a dive that looks more like balancing a ledger than athleticism. Quirks: carries a pocket calculator in his glove, taps the crossbar to 'audit' rebounds, hums tax code mnemonics when nervous. Motivated to clear his name after the Seal Hunting Club scandal; hates Ref Whistleman with quiet, pencil-pushing fury.

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