Front Row Students

The Quantum Pitch

Team Details

City: Maputo, Mozambique

Manager: Dean Archibald Ovaltine

Stadium: The Quantum Pitch

League: Tigrine Tigers

Series: Aces

Description

Theoretical experts¹ in soccer put their academic jobs on the line by trying out in practice what, in theory, sounded like a good idea (Dean, 2017). The Front Row Students are a crew of brainy boffins who took fieldwork to a whole new level! Led by The Dean and armed with theoretical soccer manuals (e.g., The Ronald Field Tactics for Dummies), they’re determined to prove that statistics and sarcasm beat sweat and skill any day. They rely on solving the Grand Soccer Equation (GSE) as the league advances (p < .001), as it could be a game-changer. But Momoshiro also has his sights on the GSE, and may tempt them with the true victory: tenure. Get your thinking caps on and kick off! ¹ Soccer 101, Momo Corp. University™. 1989 - present. Dean, T. (2017). Brains over Brawls: a guide to successfully navigate the soccer fields as a nerd. Momoshiro Nature™. 13(37).

Player Roster

Name	Age	Number	Position	Status
Nigel Quixote	27	42	GK	Active
Sunita Basukar	22	93	GK	Active
Maxwell Houser	32	7	DF	Active
Genevieve Kensington	25	14	DF	Active
Mihir Chauhan	28	33	DF	Active
Claire 'Catgut' Rutherford	21	5	DF	Active
Leon Yi-Cheung	31	18	DF	Active
Viktor Rybakov	30	61	DF	Active
Jenna Papadopoulos	26	24	DF	Active
Ulrich Kramer	35	0	DF	Active
Professor Kiki Cheng	23	10	MF	Active
Rolando Synapse	20	77	MF	Active
Janine Bhatt	29	56	MF	Active
Marcello Oriundi	24	12	MF	Active
Greta Schmidt	27	62	MF	Active
Philip O'Brien	34	37	MF	Active
Yeva Shtern	27	88	AT	Active
Fabian Lamoureux	30	3	AT	Active
Polly Kwon	21	9	AT	Active
Raymond Suresh	25	19	AT	Active
Ingrid Meister	33	28	AT	Active
Harlan Abecedario	26	65	AT	Active